Embarrassing traveler moments, part: One

As a foreigner you sometimes end up in strange situations worth a good laugh.

The Spa

Ultimately the best way to embarras yourself is to visit a spa abroad. You'd think that Scandinavians and people from the Baltics are as pro spa and sauna goers as it gets. Guess again! Even though us, the nordic folks, do enjoy to sit bare naked in a steaming hot room with our friends and families all gathered around (while hitting ourselves with a bunch of twigs!), we do tend to cover ourselves on all other times. A quick glanse into a German spa will make even a Finn blush (ask Tony). One of his 30-something birthdays was celebrated in a beautiful town of Wiesbaden and one of the preplanned activites was a relaxing visit to a local spa. Little did we know that in Germany most people, men and women mixed, tend to bathe naked at a spa. Naked in the pools, naked in the sauna, naturally also naked in the hallways and the relaxation rooms. Towels are not worn either. Anywhere.

However, it does get worse. Luckily we didn't take our newly learnt German/Dutch bathing habits to a spa in Taiwan, where not only do you cover yourself in a 50's style bathing overall and wear a hat (preferably matching the rest of your outfit), you also change into your bathing outfit in a shower cabin or toilet. This would have been nice to know before I was standing there, bare naked, getting into my bikini while watching Asian ladies peeking into the dressing room, then getting all red and embarrassed, covering their eyes from seeing my naked butt and running to a shower cabin as fast as they could. After this happened for a couple of times, I realized I got something wrong here. Explains why I was the only person in the dressing room. Naked.

Squeaky clean in Turkey

Other good places to embarras yourself (or feel embarrassed for co-bathers) are spa's in Netherlands and hamams in Turkey.

The trolley bus

It was a horribly cold and windy afternoon in Tallinn when we were planning to go shopping. Having lost sight of the last available taxi, Tony spotted a trolley bus approaching. We ran as fast as we could and hopped on. Before we even got thinking about buying a ticket, the trolley driver pushes the break pedal in between two stops and the controllers step in. We had two options; either just walk up to the driver and buy a ticket or panic and pretend to be confused foreigners. Kris chose the latter options, not because we didn't want to pay, that was definitely our intention but out of pure panic. Instead of explaining the controllers in clear Estonian that we had just stepped in and were about to buy the ticket, I asked them in English; " What's going on!? I don't understand! " Tony gave a dirty look - wtf? However, he played along, you just cannot save your wife from every embarrassing moment, can you? Well, we were escorted into their vehicle to discuss it further but by that time we were already in a deep web of foreign deception. We probably would have gotten away with this but our facial expressions to the discussion between the controllers gave us away as Kris did follow their conversation the whole time.

This was our movie moment. You know the moment when things go so embarrassingly wrong that even you, as a viewer, feel embarrassed?

It ended in a fine of 30 euro's and almost got us another one of those because Kris did object loudly - in fluent Estonian. 

Medieval Tallinn

The last one didn't happen to us, unfortunately. I sort of hope it did. This story must be shared!

The fish and the bowl

This happened during a very upscale Christmas dinner at a Portuguese holiday destination. Our friends haven't visited too many seafood restaurants. I'm guessing this was the first one. With beautiful classical music in the background, people cheerfully enjoying their dinner it did come as a slight surprise to them when a bowl of luke warm lemon water was brought to the table shortly after they had finished their appetiser. For a while they tried to gaze around, looking for a hint on what to do with the bowl of water and slices of lemon in it yet no help was in sight. The only logical way to deal with this was a logical one. Our friend took the bowl in his hands, raised it to his mouth and took a good big sip. Who knows what kind of habits the friendly Portuguese have! He then caught a glimpse of a waiter nearby laughing and showing him to put the bowl away and waving his hands. In a split second our friend realized that you're supposed to clean your hands in this bowl, not drink it!

They all got a good laugh and our fiends were happy for professional waiters who quickly saved their faces!

No seafood was embarrassed during the writing of this article.

How do we do it and how could you do it, too?

Inspired by yet another curious inquiry, here it is. The truth behind all this traveling.

It’s not that we don’t work. We do, full steam on!
And no, Tony isn’t a millionaire.
Also Kris doesn’t come from long history of wealth and fortune, as the rumours say.

List of trips made until 2012, in Dominican Republic (12.2012)

The truth is quite boring, to be honest. We go to work every day, work long hours, go home, throw in some hobbies.. the normal stuff. And then we plan our travels, which is the biggest and most important hobby. Actually it's the way of life! And that’s it. As simple as it gets.

Annually we tend to visit 6+ countries per year. Highest number being about 18 for Tony (including business travel), our common maximum was around 12, which was in 2014. On yearly basis we make about 4-5 trips (excluding weekend trips). On average in 2014 we spent 300€ per month/each (flights and accommodation) on traveling divided throughout the year, 365 days). This was an expensive year because we did three big trips which is not typical even for us (Argentina, Indonesia, Hawaii & San Francisco (2in1)) and three smaller (2in1, 4in1 and Italy) ones in Europe. You can easily reduce this amount by half or even more. Easily.

We only have the typical amount of average European vacation days, no extra’s included. 

Waiting in traffic on Bali.

This is how we got to this point:

Our first trip together was to Portugal. 10 days in Lisbon. We booked it through a Nordic booking website (flights & hotel). The price was ok, not particularly cheap, but ok). Direct flights and 3* hotel with basic breakfast. We moved around by public transport and ate in local restaurants.

The second trip was Egypt. Booked via travel agent. This was half-board meaning we had breakfast and dinner at hotel. Transportation to and from airport included. Also did a self-planned trip by local bus to Cairo to see the real Egypt. I guess this triggered us to ditch the travel agents and stick to our own planning. The pre-planned trip with guides, microphones, bus rides, waiting for people all the time to find the bus and go to toilet etc. wasn’t for us. I am sure there are lots of people who prefer this but for us it didn't feel convenient. We need more freedom and I guess we’re not that much into making friends with fellow travelers. On these trips I think it’s sort of necessary to mingle.

Berlin

At this point we started browsing for options. Flights, different booking sites, reading lots and lots of travel articles and so on.

However, the point is that we did a couple of trips with very different planning and started to get an impression of what works for us. Next we had to learn how to find the best flights. I wouldn’t say the cheapest flights because that’s not always the best option even when you’re on a budget.

By the end of 2010 we had visited Portugal, Egypt, Italy, Poland, Greece, Hungary and were getting ready for Dubai. But we were just starting out.

How about a hike up Mt. Olympus in July? 

You need to familiarise yourself with different travel booking sites (flights, hotels, all-inclusive, last minute etc.), hotel sites, airlines etc. The more you use them the better you become in this. We just browse them even when we don’t plan anything just to get an idea of prices or distances and routes to destinations we’re interested in. Also, one site might be perfect to plan a trip today but it might be lousy for the next trip you’re planning. It’ll give you an idea of an average price for flights. For example, after doing my homework I know that anything more than 600€ for flights to Asia (Indonesia, Taiwan or Japan, for example) is too much and more than 800/900€ for Chile is, again, too expensive and you should get it for less. Might be a good idea to add a couple of days and combine Chile with New York. You save money and get to add another destination! 

The good news is that you don’t have to learn it all now.

You should be able to easily find error fares or super good deals for flights to exotic destinations for about 300€ but we don’t normally do this. However, lots of people hunt for these deals so go for it when you find one! These flights normally require being able to book fast and also include long layovers or sometimes even changing airports etc. We’re corporate employees so we haven’t had the advantage to try these flights and often even skip them because of the hassle. However, do take a look! You might find a fortune at the end of this rainbow!

Our breakfast in Chinatown, New York (12.2012)

A good way to cut costs is to travel together - your partner, a friend, maybe a family member, group of friends - anything but doing it alone is normally cheaper. ((We’re not backpackers and don’t know anything about hostels (which probably might be cheap for single traveler)).

We hear people say how they would love to travel more but in the next sentence they talk about 5 star all-inclusive resorts. These work probably for families with kids or if you really just want a well maintained pool and keep the cocktails coming but it probably won’t turn you into a world traveller.

Keeping the cocktails coming in Barcelona!

Be flexible! We’ve gone from 5 star to no-star during one 14 day holiday as we tend to move around when traveling. Choose the hotel to fit your needs. A hiking holiday is better near your trails, not at the beach resort if you’re going to be out of the hotel most of the time. In case you’re looking for quality, relaxation and lounging by the pool, do choose the hotel with most services, otherwise your relaxation will only go half way. Compare your options and be willing to compromise. We love luxury above all but sometimes it’s so much wiser to book that simple little room for 22€ per night next to the market in Funchal than a luxury designer hotel down the street. There are plenty of accommodation options to choose from nowadays for every wallet. Also, location is important when booking your hotel - not just the distance from sights and transportation but also the nature of the destination - is it a tourist destination or not? You will pay much, much more for a basic hotel in Paris than a luxury hotel in Düsseldorf or Kuala Lumpur. 

No introduction needed

When are you travelling? Peak season is expensive! Especially visiting an expensive destination during peak season will drain your wallet. Some destinations are way better during off-season. Try Antalya in January!

If you don’t have the money now, save it and travel when you have saved some. And don’t use it for a new TV or a new car. You’re saving it for something better.

How about a new 40" 3D TV or a luxurious Christmas vacation on Waikiki beach? Which one do you choose?

We used to travel less because we wanted to spend the Christmas with the family and the Easter with other family and Mid-summer day in the countryside “at home” and the same applies for the Independence day and Labour day - you name it. We still love our families, but now we travel on all these days. During Christmas holidays you add a couple of days (normally 5) and you get a two week holiday! For Easter you add maybe two days and there you go, 4-5 day city trip in one of the beautiful cities in Europe. Ascension day with Whit Monday with 5-6 days added and again you have a holiday of two weeks! Mid-Summer Holiday in North of Europe combined with 1-2 days and you have again 5 day holiday. On average in Europe you have about 7-9 national holidays (on weekdays) per year. Add this to your 25-30 vacation days and you have lots of trips to plan!

Last: dedication. You might not be there yet, but you have to start somewhere. Next time, before you say to yourself that you don’t have the money or enough time to do this, change your thinking and ask yourself, HOW can you have the money and time to do this? It’s all about setting the goal and going for it (like in everything else in life).

We only started extensive traveling 6 years ago. During this time we have visited more than 40 countries. Before that we just sat around looking at those who traveled constantly and wondered; how do they have the time and money?

Grand Hotel Hermitage (****) in Sorrento, Italy

Destination: Sorrento, Italy
Time of travel: September 2012
Duration: 5 days in Sorrento
Travel plan: Wedding (ours)


Just checked our TripAdvisor profile that states we've reviewed more than 90 hotels since 2009. Out of these 90 there are currently about five we really want to share with you. Grand Hotel Hermitage, near enchanting Sorrento, with the incredible volcano mount Vesuvius rising in the horizon, is one of these wonderful places.

Grand Hotel Hermitage

http://www.hermitagesorrento.com

We booked this hotel for ourselves as well as our families during the time of our wedding in Sorrento, Italy back in 2012. We were demanding; great value, pool, good breakfast, spacious rooms with great location (or shuttle to town), truly friendly staff, restaurants, superb reputation, selection of tours and more. And we got all of this, and a little more.

What made this hotel stand out was the staff. It's ran by a family and employs also other staff who are all equally attentive, equally kind and magically friendly. The hotel wasn't built in this decade, not even the last one, but it definitely has a great charm to it, beautifully decorated rooms which compliment the beautiful surroundings, amazingly beautiful tile floors and comfortable beds, to mention a few of the best qualities. 

The hotel is located about 10min up the hill from central Sorrento. The hotel offers shuttle service several times a day but you'll be perfectly fine also in Sant'Agata Sui Due Golfi where the hotel is located because in 5minutes after strolling the beautiful private path of this beautiful hotel, you'll reach the village of Sant'Agata with a couple of good restaurants, some shops and even hairdressers. 

The view will leave you speechless.

Our families were very happy with the choice of hotel. So were we. We've never experienced such hospitality before. Probably not even after.

I guess we were a little occupied with the wedding as we can't seem to find any pictures of the room. You better go and see it for yourself!

Grand Hotel Hermitage

http://www.hermitagesorrento.com

Days in Buenos Aires

Destination: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Time of travel: December 2013
Duration: 10 days
Travel plan: City trip to Buenos Aires


A beautiful, green city. European inspired architecture and wide streets. Warm people with lots of attitude. Opinionated, proud of their origins. Political turmoil. Wealth inequality. Steak restaurants. Dry leaves on the road in afternoon heat. Poverty. Strenght. Political Demonstration. We didn't expect tango blasting out of the windows but the steaks we did assume to be extraordinary, which they were.

These are a few things we expected to experience in Buenos Aires. Nothing fancy but nothing overly negative either. We were aware of the poverty issues, more so related to the wealth inequality aspects. Also the politics as the Argentinians do like to strike. Maybe we did rely a little too much on our romanticized idea which was based on various media sources. We were prepared to experience even negative surprizes but shallowness was not one of them, which turned out to be what we experienced the most. Experienced travellers as we are, we were prepared to watch our belongings.


It was beautiful. It was green. And it was also European inspired. In the matter of fact it looked like Paris, Madrid, Barcelona and Rome all combined. Imagine that!


On the other hand, throw in some greedy hands reaching for your handbag. Several pairs of eyes following your every step. Don't you dare taking out your camera or be prepared to find a safe spot to hide. Don't get confused by the occasional friendliness you meet as there are plenty of those who will show you your spot. You know, smack down your wealthy European ass, since you can buy another camera, mobile phone, watch - all of it. Anytime. Can't you? So why not try to rob you. On almost every step you take.


You might try and play it safe. You don't wear any jewellery, not even the plastic bracelet you bought from H&M. You know, not to attract any attention. You take off your wedding ring and try to store it somewhere safe. The safe deposit box in your hotel room is not the place to store it so you try to hide it. You also hide your passport - just in case. You don't walk with your camera, you keep it hidden and covered. You feel uncomfortable. You are stressed and you want to go home. Eventually you just book daytrips via travel agent, sit by the hotel pool and hope you will not get robbed on your way back from the restaurant in the evening. Not that you would have anything to rob off anyway but they would probably still give it a try, you European scumbag.


You are safe! You made it! You only had to file one police report after you forgot to take off that golden necklace and it was ripped off you in the middle of a crowded street on a sunny afternoon. You made it! 


Actually, you didn't. It was the staff at your 5 star designer hotel that got you by arranging someone to steal your belongings. Their faces gave them away. Their behaviour gave them away. The police who didn't care to watch the surveillance tape gave them away. They didn't care. Just file a report, they said. Your insurance will cover it, they said.